This is a list of odd school mascots that was in the school paper:
10. North Dakota Sioux - This is one those names that the NCAA is getting rid of even though no one finds it offensive. If they have to change it, the answer is obvious, Sue. Slap some pigtails on there, hand the girl a frying pan or a rolling pin and you've got something scary. Not masculine enough? Put a country boy in overalls, and they can be the North Dakota Boys Named Sue.
9. University of San Diego Toreros - I'm not sure what a Torero is, other than it has something to do with bulls, plus the campus is really nice.
8. Brooklyn Bridges - Either this school named itself after an architectural structure or a short-lived drama on CBS starring the mom from "Happy Days."
7. Rowan University Professors - I would assume the point of the name is to strike fear into the very essence of your opponent. What works better than naming the team after the guy that assigned them a 200-page reading assignment for after the game?
6. Whittier Poets - A name that is also a pun? Genius - pure genius.
5. Rhode Island School of Design Nads - This name is great for several reasons. The cheerleaders are known as the jockstraps because they "support the Nads on many levels," including shouting "offers" to the other team if they agree to throw the game. To top it all off, they have the mascot - Scrotie. Scrotie is a red-caped, six-foot-tall penis on skates that leads the students in the RISD cheer "Go Nads!"
4. Florida Southern College Moccasins - Those shoes are comfortable.
3. Converse College All-Stars - Those shoes are comfortable.
2. University of Massachusetts-Dartmouth Corsairs - What is a corsair? It's like a pirate, but smarter and with a better wardrobe.
1. Marist College Red Foxes - A lot of people label our generation as the MTV generation. Well, as far as I'm concerned, we're also the Nick at Nite generation. My favorite show on Nick at Nite is Sanford and Son, and any school that names themselves after a foul-mouthed comic is OK by me.
And the 10 worst:
10. Wake Forest Demon Deacons - I don't like this because it doesn't make any sense. Are they affiliated with Satan or not? Make up your mind.
9. Gamecocks/Beavers - I don't hate these names, but I hate seeing people wear the hats. We've all seen them, hats that say Beavers or Cocks with the intention of soliciting laughter. If these and the windshield sunglasses would disappear, I'd be a happier person.
8. Sam Houston Bearkats/Central Oklahoma Bronchos - Spell check says these names are errors.
7. University of Massachusetts Minutemen - Naming your team after a high school insult and a medical affliction is not a good idea.
6. University of Connecticut Huskies - I hate this one for personal reasons. When I was 10 years old and still shopping at the JCPenney, I had to buy pants from the special section for chubby kids. I didn't care for the stigma back then and hearing it still makes me flinch a little.
5. University of Alaska Southeast Humpback Whales - These are not the kind of whales that eat humans; they are the kind that skim the ocean with their teeth and eat whatever happens to be in there and that is gross.
4. Heidelberg College Student Princes - Call them the Spoiled Rich Kids and stop the charade.
3. Indiana State Sycamores - Named after a tree that does not emit delicious syrup.
2. Baltimore Super Bees - Get with the times and rename yourselves the Africanized Bees.
1. Evansville Purple Aces - It reminds me of that episode of "The Simpsons" where Mr. Burns is buying the plant back from the Germans. Don't anger the Purple Aces, they might stand there and take it.
-The Daily Toreador